we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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