Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
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