if i can run in heels then i can drive
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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