is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
