Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
