i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
