38 yer olds are good kisserssss
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
