I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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