I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
