found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
