All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
