so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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