Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
