GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
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