I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
