last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
being pregnant is like rehab
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
