Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
