haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
