i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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