so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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