He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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