i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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