Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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