I cockslap morals
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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