are you still at the devil's house?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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