Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
