STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
