In America we eat man semen.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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