You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
