we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
honey bunches of taint.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
