whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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