Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
It's rum buckets o'clock
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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