if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
