woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
