Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
