hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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