i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
