hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
