Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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