I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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