I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
