ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
And the cops told us we were all naked.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
