I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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