My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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