waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
