Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
