I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
