i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
