Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
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