i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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